Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26877467-20180506032927

I clarified how ranks (1st place, 2nd place...) are calculated.

Rules
You ready for a race?

The first player to reach the finish line wins. There will be obstacles all throughout the race, typically placed every 150m. You all have godmodding abilities, which means you can do anything, but there are some rules in place as to what you can and can't do:

On average, you will run 15m every round. You can change that to be more or less for other players, but you can't make the difference too dramatic. Leniency on the limits will be directly related to the creativity of the move. For example, speed boots will give you a little extra speed. Super speed boots will give you the same amount of speed as regular speed boots. But a rocket powered skateboard would do better then both, since it has a higher uniqueness.
 * No damaging of the race.
 * No obliteration/destruction/damage to the pre-placed obstacles.
 * You can spawn things, and certain ones may remain there until the end of the game.
 * Nothing larger than a cozy, 1 story house.
 * You can't become invincible
 * Avoid time manipulation please
 * You cannot die
 * You cannot force other players to not exist
 * No indestructible objects
 * Avoid creating objects that just block movesets, in other words, "anti-x" devices. If you want to stop other players from using an action, consider what conditions must be true for that action to succeed, and invalidate one of them with an object that's real or fictional. Don't just make one up on the spot to suit the occasion.
 * Nigh-invincibility and nigh-indestructibility will be rounded up to invincibility or indestructibility and will not be permitted.
 * Avoid using terms like "The player ahead of me." If there's a tie, I dont know which one to pick. Also, guessing where players are halfway through an update is hard.
 * Avoid using "at everybody." If this isn't an area of effect attack that would engulf everybody, and you're just doing the same attack to several different people, this will instead be nerfed to just a few people.
 * Just, in general, it is preferred if you say your targets by name.

You can't send anyone back to the start.

Actions will be evaluated in updates, in the order they were posted, unless two actions come from the same person, in which case the order may be jumbled. The results of your actions (eg. hit, miss, interrupt) will be determined by me and the order they are evaluated. Some of your actions will end up having unexpected results. If you post too many actions, you'll rush through them and they will all lose effectiveness, or you'll have to slow down to perform them all.

Certain actions will remain in the game indefinitely, and others will only last for a few turns.

This game has a feature called events. Events are effects that get applied to everyone regardless of their distance. Events will typically be in effect ~10% of the game, and will last around 3 to 9 turns. Gaps in between events will be around 7+ turns.

Ranks (1st place, 2nd place, 3rd place, etc.) are calculated by finding the player with the highest distance, and giving them first place. If people are tied for first place, they both get 1st place. Then the process repeats, ignoring the players already counted, awarding the next players the rank last given minus the amount of players who got it. So, for example, there's one person in 15m, two people at 10m, and 3 people at 5m. The player at 15m gets 1st place, the players at 10m both get 2nd place, and the players at 5m all get 4th place.

If you join late, you will be placed 5m before the last person.

@MaLuckyDay you aren't in the caves, the caves start back at 150m and end at 210m. You spawned at 220m.

Actions - 23
TheContestant437 's second jetpack suddenly begins working again, giving them a boost.

EpicToast 2 's all-consuming apathy makes them slow to a lazy jog.

Wreewspoorch uses telekinesis to twist the neck of the Ender Dragon. It loses an action this turn and takes 10 damage!

404 found, with the knowledge that their eyes are mechanical, notices that the Shadow of Sonar553 appears like a Shadow of Invader Zim, and realizes that the mechanical eyes are deceiving them. They focus mainly on the microcomputer camera.

Physical Sonar553 runs with oars, and then rides a canoe, using the oars as legs for the canoe. It's very exerting. Physical Sonar553 then asks existential questions. Physical Sonar makes the canoe jump, and then, with the power of imagination, they are flowing down a river on the right side of the track. Physical Sonar553 paddles along casually while trying to slip in product placement into my game.

Btd456Creeper forgot their plan with the drill since time seemed to have slowed down long enough for that to happen and an entity is sorry for that. Btd456Creeper drills back out of the ground, peeks at the vultures, and attaches their backpack to the drill and send it off towards 275m. Btd456Creeper hops out of the hole and runs again.

TheContestant437 uses their MK7 blue shell, which hits XXPhoenix888, S0mePVZfan, and 404 found. It tries to slam on Shadow Sonar553, but the explosion doesn't affect them. It does deal 15 damage to their energy shield, however, which destroys it. It misses Physical Sonar553 since they were running with canoe-oar-legs, and EpicToast 4 since they're in a helicopter.

Shadow Sonar553 uses a magic carpet of their own now. Wait... how would that even work? Shadow Sonar553 is two dimensional, and doesn't have to worry about gravity! Gravity is pointing a direction that isn't on Shadow Sonar553 's plane of existence. I guess Shadow Sonar553 can maneuver to the left and right of the track easier now?

Vaguebuild sets up a homing spike directly on top of MaLuckyDay. It pokes MaLuckyDay.

XXPhoenix888 gets rid of their water damaged hoverboard right before it was about to give them a boost from no longer being water damaged, and they throw the now functional hoverboard at Physical Sonar553.

EndermanR169 leaps into space.

Aggron... Just Aggron plays Monty on the Run on a keyboard. A new event begins: Intense music. Players are more susceptible to the effects of stress. Each update corresponds to 30 seconds of the music (even if 30 seconds's worth of actions don't occur each update). Once it reaches the slow part, it will switch to Relaxing Music and the effects of it will change.

The Ender Dragon untwists its necc.

A vulture picks up Psychomaniac14, but they manage to escape.

Physical Sonar553 teleports MaLuckyDay forward.

Vaguebuild uses a water cannon to splash Oiniteoderfla12, The Medic, and The Medic 's gun. Ointieoderfla12 is now wet, but luckily not enough of the water touched the hoverboard. The Medic 's gun has water damage again.

Shadow Sonar553 is given stumble-proof boots by Physical Sonar553, even though Shadow Sonar553 doesn't really have anything to stumble upon.

Physical Sonar553 paddles along, enjoying the experience in some kind of stupor. They wonder what soap would be like if they combined it with soap, merging their properties. It'd probably be pretty soapy. They throw soap at anyone 15m ahead of them, but the only person who is 15m ahead of them is Shadow Sonar553. They decide to throw the soap at someone 10m ahead of them, being either XXPhoenix888, S0mePVZfan, or 404 found. [1-3]

1! XXPhoenix888 gets hit in the head by soap. Physical Sonar553 has an existential crisis, but it gets interrupted by XXPhoenix888 's hoverboard flying towards them. Physical Sonar553 catches it, but then thinks that they were supposed to be hit and bangs their head on it. It hurts. Physical Sonar553 questions their decision to do that and throws it away.

TheContestant437 is astonished by Physical Sonar553 's deep thoughts. Y'know it's not polite to probe other people's minds without their permission.

EndermanR169 grabs an asteroid and hurls it back down. It will collide with Earth in the next update.

404 found summons a quick repulsorlift (a jetpack that needs no fuel, it must be solar powered or something) and hovers about 2m above the ground with it.

EndermanR169 falls back down to Earth. They will land next update.

Physical Sonar553 makes a third oar and throws it at XXPhoenix888, but the fire engine destroys it.

XXPhoenix888 blasts mediocre memes: Yodeling Kid-EDM remix. In response, Physical Sonar553 blasts that guy who screams the lyrics to stuff. XXPhoenix888 installs a second hoverboard which blasts Skrillex-Bangarang. All the noise from the songs mixes horribly and damages both XXPhoenix888 's and Physical Sonar553 's hearing. The effects of Monty on the Run are cancelled for now, until the racket stops. Physical Sonar553 throws an Electromagnetic Peach at XXPhoenix888, but those have been used a lot, so XXPhoenix888 can deflect it towards a pillar. But the closest pillar is too far away, so it misses.

TheContestant437 attempts to punch Psychomaniac14 in the crotch. However, I will not allow such an action. Under no circumstances is it okay to attack someone there. Not even Psychomaniac14. That's just like, not allowed. Anywhere. If I were to allow you to do that you would probably be killed. And I might make an exception to one of the rules for that one. Like, dude. Come on.

TheContestant437 throws their toaster at Physical Sonar553 instead. It hits their energy shield, dealing 4 damage.

404 found throws a Concussion Grenade (which uses shockwaves) at Pillar G, dealing 5 damage to it, and destroying it. Since both they are at the pillar and the it is the current pillar, 404 found deals a net 15 damage to the Ender Dragon. Not bad.

XXPhoenix888 gets understandably impatient.

The Ender Dragon attacks EndermanR169. [1-3]

2! The Ender Dragon tries to charge at EndermanR169, but can't find them. Maybe because they're in SPACE

CookieCookieNomNom finally exits the caves! They dump all the water out of their lungs, and gasp for air. They're so damaged that they stop just to rest. Poor CookieCookieNomNom.

The Ender Dragon regenerates 5 HP from the one remaining pillar.

Since Psychomaniac14 used their Aether Energy Converter™ this turn, the Natural Disaster Clock's chance increases to 25%.

66! The Natural Disaster Clock does not decrease.

XXPhoenix888 's flame thrusters almost burn TheContestant437, but they use their fireproof umbrella to block it.

Current Standings
Players:

'''Aggron... Just Aggron': 255m, 8th place''


 * Playing Monty on the Run on a keyboard

XXPhoenix888: 270 m, 4th place
 * Hoverboard, on top of another Hoverboard with flame thrusters (dangerous)
 * Blade of Justice, helicopting with, capable of launching fireballs and daggers
 * Blasting two songs
 * Hearing damage (will become permanent if music continues onto next turn)

S0mePVZfan: 275m, 2nd place


 * Super flame dashing (set anyone they pass on fire)

Physical Sonar553: 260m, 7th place


 * Has a flying carpet
 * Dual lacerators
 * 2nd degree burns
 * Beaten up
 * Energy Absorbing Shield (9/15 HP)
 * 2 Oars
 * Riding a phasic boat
 * Safari planned next August

Shadow Sonar553: 285m, 1st place


 * Riding a flying carpet
 * Stumble-proof boots
 * Safari planned next August

404 found: 275m, 2nd place


 * Inertial Dampener with High Energy Focus


 * Extra Inertia
 * Omnikey
 * Mechanical eyes that make Sonar553 look like Invader Zim (has knowledge of)
 * Plugged into mind-operated microcomputer with camera via HDMI
 * Recovering from high impact (1 turn left)
 * Bitten ankle
 * Scranton Reality Anchor
 * Quick repulsorlift

Oiniteoderfla12: 250m, 15th place

CookieCookieNomNom: 210m, 21st place
 * Hoverboard
 * Glue-repelling shoes
 * The Rocket
 * Expresses emotions throught the Geometry Dash difficulty icons.
 * Current face: Easy
 * Motivation: Friendship
 * Medic
 * From Team Fortress 2
 * Heals
 * 100% Übercharge
 * Wet
 * Gun has water damage (4 turns left)
 * Wet


 * Burned (get this healed)
 * 3rd degree burns
 * Resting

Vaguebuild: 235m, 20th place


 * Rocket Launcher
 * Only in underwear
 * Ate something spicy
 * Zim ability (flight and lasers)
 * Missing intestines
 * Has slinkies within abdominal area (rejected by body)
 * MLG Memey engine
 * 15 meters

TheContestant437: 265m, 5th place


 * 2nd degree burns
 * 3rd degree burn
 * Jetpack
 * Jetpack (waterproof)
 * Fireproof umbrella
 * Bruised (physical attacks on you have 5% chance of being super effective)
 * Super Horn

Psychomaniac14: 255m, 8th place

EpicToast: 255m, 8th place
 * Alcubierre drive (space compressor) with EMP armor and Aether Energy Converter™
 * Wearing hydrophobic cellulite cloak

EpicToast 2: 250m, 15th place
 * Null

EpicToast 3: 255m, 8th place
 * All-consuming apathy (Phase 2)

EpicToast 4: 265m, 5th place EpicToast 5: 255m, 8th place EpicToast 6: 255m, 8th place EndermanR169: 255m, 8th place Btd456Creeper: 245m, 18th place
 * Bitten
 * Helicopter
 * Null
 * Null
 * Train-SUV-TankMech with lasers capable of flight (85/200 HP)
 * 2nd degree burns
 * 3rd degree burn
 * Bungled up
 * In space (will land at the end of next turn)

Wreewspoorch: 250m, 15th place
 * Stick sticking out of them
 * Turtle shell
 * 15 meters

MaLuckyDay: 240m, 19th place  Entities: 
 * Mowing
 * Null

Marble pit: 50m

Fake finish line (experienced by 1 player): 55m

Crater: 75m

Obsidian pillar group (off to the side) (at pillar + attack = 5 damage to Ender Dragon):

Submarine: 165m (60/80 HP)
 * Pillar F: 290m (5/5 HP)

Ender Dragon: 15/60 HP (current pillar: F)

Mowed right grass: (210m-250m)

Peanut Butter (3m across): 220m

Bump (smashed): 215m

Dream River: ~260m

Drill: 250m Asteroid (will impact the planet at the beginning of next turn)
 * Backpack
 * Banana peel
 * 1st grade mathbook

Natural Disaster Clock: 10 turns (25% chance, +5% each turn)

Event:

Ender Dragon: Will do 2 attacks each turn. Attacks can be Ender Charge, charge, or breath attack. Ender Charge and breath attack do splash damage, and breath attack lingers for 1/3 turn. 1-4 pillars, 5 regen; 5-8 pillars, 10 regen; 9+ pillars, 15 regen. If current pillar is destroyed, 10 damage.

Monty on the Run: 30s, no effect due to mass noise

Map:

Starting line (0m)

1st obstacle (100m)

2nd obstacle (150m-160m)


 * Caves (70m long, reconnects at 210m)

3rd obstacle (200m)

4th obstacle (250m)
 * Ballistic Shield blocker
 * Turned around

5th obstacle (300m)

...

Finish line (1000m)

@Vaguebuild the slinky in your abdomen is being rejected by your body.

Wreewspoorch stops mowing.

Wreewspoorch summons the shadow of a wall at 290m. It extends to the trees on either side of the track. 