Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26877467-20180411053142/@comment-26877467-20180421050301

@EpicToast I know you meant to throw textbooks at Btd but they were too far away so I just went with "at other runners"

@Vaguebuild I gave you 15 of an item called "meters." At any time, you can spend these meters as a free action and you will teleport forward 15 meters. I'm giving these to you since I accidentally made a mistake back in Update - 9 where I moved you backwards. The 15 meters will compensate for that, and you can even use them to teleport past obstacles if you want.

Actions - 20
Wreewspoorch calls in an airstrike to bomb pillars H and I, dealing 5 damage to each, and destroying Pillar I. Since they are at 220m, where Pillar H is, they also deal 5 damage to the '''Ender Dragon. Since they destroyed a pillar, they will be attacked by the Ender Dragon''' next.

EpicToast dumps a bottle of glue on Aggron... Just Aggron now that they are out of their helicopter. It slides down to cover more of them, but it doesn't slow them down. The glue will still stick to things, however.

EpicToast 2 slaps Wreewspoorch (aggressively, mind you), and with their hand instead of some magic projection this time since they're at the same distance. This time it will actually slow them down.

EpicToast 3 tries to use their mutilated bits to trip EndermanR169, but EndermanR169 is in a mechanical monster and just squishes EpicToast 3 further.

EpicToast 4 slathers a line of peanut butter of length 3m across on the track at distance 220m. The smooth kind. Not the chunky one. Players who leave their encounters with it unspecified will have a 60% chance of running into it and getting their feet sticky, slowing them down.

EpicToast 5 pulls out a stepladder and climbs it.

EpicToast 6 throws a desk lamp at Pillar H and somehow that crumbles it. The Ender Dragon will attack them next after they're done with Wreewspoorch. Since they were also at the same distance as Pillar H, they also deal 5 damage to the Ender Dragon.

XXPhoenix888 uses their Blade of Justice to heal the cuts that were delivered by their own weapon being used against them.

Btd456Creeper spins the turret around, even though it's already blocked by the ballistic shield glued to it. Just to be sure they also wear a turtle shell.

S0mePVZfan summons Bloodlust to body slam and curbstomp Physical Sonar553, but Physical Sonar553 uses a smoke bomb. It has a 50% chance of working.

20! Physical Sonar553 gets body slammed and curbstomped. oof

404 found summons a lightsaber and cuts apart the vulture, and they fall back down to the ground. Before they hit the ground, they get picked up by another vulture.

TheContestant437 creates a large bump at 215m, and then gets in a Mario Kart 8 kart and gravity-wheels over it.

Vaguebuild begins charging a laser, planning to shoot it Oiniteoderfla12. Firing it will be spent as an action next turn automatically.

The Ender Dragon attacks Wreewspoorch. [1-3]

3! Breath attack.

S0mePVZfan burns through the tree, not even stopping.

TheContestant437 gravity-karts over the peanut butter.

XXPhoenix888 shoots lasers at Pillar J, dealing 5 damage to it and crumbling it. They'll be attacked after EpicToast 6 is. Since that was the current pillar, the Ender Dragon also takes 10 points of damage.

404 found slices apart the other vulture,and falls to the ground. They get up and run again.

EpicToast 5 throws textbooks from the stepladder at EndermanR169 and TheContestant437. They deal 5 damage to their mechanical monster. The books knock over TheContestant437 and bruise them.

Btd456Creeper pulls a book towards them and reads it. 67% of it being useless right now...

5! It's a textbook about 1st grade arithmetic. Btd456Creeper holds onto the book anyway.

S0mePVZfan shoots sunbeams at Shadow Sonar553, which hit and slow them down. Physical Sonar553 shoots their dual lacerators at the sun beams, diffusing them with interference. S0mePVZfan shoots fire beams at Physical Sonar. Physical Sonar553 dodges by teleporting to Shadow Sonar553 's position, however such a boost is too much if the two are to remain separate, so Physical Sonar553 owes me 15m, meaning they're going to have to be sent back 15m before the race is over. This will be cancelled if Physical Sonar553 and Shadow Sonar553 were to merge, but there's still a whole race left where they could both be used. (merging will bring the one behind to the one in front as well in one action)

EpicToast sucks EpicToast 6 and EpicToast 5 inside themself. Carrying two other people slows them down.

EpicToast 2 tries to pause time, but sees that nothing happens since I do not allow actions that would destroy the universe (from an outsider's perspective, how fast would you be going if you paused time? Now factor in friction. Boom, infinite velocity, infinite friction, universe annihilated.)

EpicToast 3 reverses time for themself Braid-style. Their mutilated bits converge onto the point where they were flung apart by the helicopter blades, just that there is no helicopter there anymore. After reforming to recreate EpicToast 3, they begin running again.

EpicToast 4 opens a portal and throws a blender at 404 found through it.

Vaguebuild uses a MLG Memey engine, but those have since become outdated and require rare professional usage to be effectual nowadays.

Psychomaniac14 has trouble getting past the tree because they're stunned.

EndermanR169 flies over the bump in their mechanical monster.

404 found wears a mini Scranton Reality Anchor, which will nullify spacial bending, gravitational disturbances, temporal distortions, and changes of the fundamental laws of physics (summoning and regular stuff is still ok) that are nearby 404 found. The blender's cord gets caught in the portal's closing and it drops down, hanging by a cord being stuck by a portal unable to close completely.

Physical Sonar553 creates an absorb barrier which absorbs energy (Protects against increases in Electrical, Sound, Chemical, Heat, Light, Atomic, or Mechanical energy, but not decreases) around themselves and Shadow Sonar553.

Btd456Creeper starts running through the woods towards Pillar H.

The Ender Dragon attacks EpicToast 6 since they destroyed an obsidian pillar, but they're currently within EpicToast, so the attack will hit them instead. [1-3]

2! Ender Charge.

Oiniteoderfla12 continues to rest, now with enough charged to either summon something smaller than a city block or do 5 actions next turn.

Physical Sonar553 gets picked up by a vulture.

The Natural Disaster Clock's chance does not increase this turn since Psychomaniac14 did not use their Aether Energy Converter™ this turn due to 404 found 's Scranton Reality Anchor, nullifying their Alcubierre drive completely. However, the clock itself still will attempt to tick down.

55! It does not tick down.

EndermanR169 steps in the peanut butter, but their mechanical monster has too much mass for that to affect anything.

Btd456Creeper doesn't have to deal with the bump since they're in the woods.

The Ender Dragon regenerates 5 HP from the obsidian pillars.

Current Standings
Players:

'''Aggron... Just Aggron': 235m, 7th place''


 * Recovering from high impact (2 turns left)

XXPhoenix888: 250 m, 3rd place
 * Hoverboard (water damage, 1 turn left), on top of another Hoverboard
 * Blade of Justice, helicopting with, capable of launching fireballs and daggers
 * Ender Charge

S0mePVZfan: 250m, 3rd place


 * Super flame dashing (set anyone they pass on fire)

Physical Sonar553: 250m, 3rd place


 * Has a flying carpet (cannot use since on fire)
 * Dual lacerators
 * On fire (1 turn left)
 * 2nd degree burns
 * Beaten up
 * Energy Absorbing Shield (15/15 HP)
 * Picked up by a vulture
 * Bitten arm
 * -15 meters
 * Safari planned next August

Shadow Sonar553: 255m, 1st place


 * Energy Absorbing Shield (15/15 HP)
 * Safari planned next August

404 found: 255m, 1st place


 * Inertial Dampener with High Energy Focus (water damage, 1 turn left)


 * Extra Inertia
 * Omnikey
 * Mechanical eyes that make Sonar553 look like Invader Zim (water damage, 1 turn left)
 * Blind as a result
 * Plugged into mind-operated microcomputer with camera via HDMI
 * Recovering from high impact (3 turns left)
 * Bitten ankle
 * Scranton Reality Anchor

Oiniteoderfla12: 205m, 19th place

CookieCookieNomNom: 150 + 60m (201.4m), 20th place
 * Hoverboard
 * Glue-repelling shoes
 * The Rocket (half-water damage, 1 turn left)
 * Expresses emotions throught the Geometry Dash difficulty icons.
 * Current face: Easy
 * Motivation: Friendship
 * Medic
 * From Team Fortress 2
 * Heals
 * Gun has water damage (1 turn left)
 * 100% Übercharge
 * 2nd degree burns
 * 2x Charge


 * Burned (get this healed)
 * 3rd degree burns
 * In caves
 * Lungs full of water

Vaguebuild: 215m, 17th place


 * Rocket Launcher
 * Only in underwear
 * Ate something spicy
 * Zim ability (flight and lasers)
 * Missing intestines
 * Has slinkies within abdominal area (body will begin rejecting in 1 turn)
 * Recovering from high impact (1 turn left)
 * Laser charged at Oiniteoderfla12
 * MLG Memey engine
 * 15 meters

TheContestant437: 225m, 10th place


 * 2nd degree burns
 * 3rd degree burn
 * Jetpack (water damage, 1 turn left)
 * Jetpack (waterproof)
 * Toaster (water damage, 1 turn left)
 * Fireproof umbrella
 * Bruised (physical attacks on you have 5% chance of being super effective)
 * Mario kart

Psychomaniac14: 245m, 6th place

EpicToast: 225m, 10th place
 * Alcubierre drive (space compressor) with EMP armor and Aether Energy Converter™
 * Wearing hydrophobic cellulite cloak
 * Aerodynamic shield (9 turns of oxygen left)
 * Stunned

EpicToast 2: 230m, 9th place
 * Carrying EpicToast 5 and EpicToast 6 in their mouth
 * Ender Charge

EpicToast 3: 220m, 15th place
 * Null

EpicToast 4: 235m, 7th place EpicToast 5: 225m, 10th place EpicToast 6: 225m, 10th place EndermanR169: 225m, 10th place Btd456Creeper: 215m, 17th place
 * Null
 * Null
 * In EpicToast 's mouth
 * In EpicToast 's mouth
 * Train-SUV-TankMech with lasers capable of flight (90/200 HP)
 * 2nd degree burns
 * 3rd degree burn
 * Bungled up

Wreewspoorch: 220m, 15th place
 * Stick sticking out of them
 * Banana peel
 * Turtle shell
 * 1st grade mathbook
 * Running through woods towards pillar H
 * 15 meters


 * Mowing
 * 1st degree burns
 * 2nd degree burns
 * Cut
 * Slapped
 * Breath Attack

 Entities: 

Marble pit: 50m

Fake finish line (experienced by 1 player): 55m

Crater: 75m

Obsidian pillar group (off to the side) (at pillar + attack = 5 damage to Ender Dragon):

Submarine: 165m (60/80 HP)
 * Pillar E: 265m (5/10 HP)
 * Pillar F: 290m (5/5 HP)
 * Pillar G: 275m (5/5 HP) (waterproof)

Ender Dragon: 45/60 HP (current pillar: E)

Mowed right grass: (210m-225m)

Fallen tree (on fire): 240m

Natural Disaster Clock: 10 turns (15% chance, +5% each turn)

Event:

Ender Dragon: Will do 2 attacks each turn. Attacks can be Ender Charge, charge, or breath attack. Ende Charge and breath attack do splash damage, and breath attack lingers for 1/3 turn. 1-4 pillars, 5 regen; 5-8 pillars, 10 regen; 9+ pillars, 15 regen. If current pillar is destroyed, 10 damage.

Map:

Starting line (0m)

1st obstacle (100m)

2nd obstacle (150m-160m)


 * Caves (70m long, reconnects at 210m)

3rd obstacle (200m)

4th obstacle (250m)
 * Ballistic Shield blocker
 * Turned around

5th obstacle (300m)

...

Finish line (1000m)

Look! The Ender Dragon is starting to be defeated

Wreewspoorch downs a healing potion.