Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26877467-20161017175134/@comment-26238535-20161026231931

A 42,420,133,721.502849593 picometer wide, 99.9961506661312-pound edible red ball made of an alloy of gold and platinum with rapidly flashing navy blue stripes perpendicular to each other. The ball emits a white glow that comes out of a rounded square hole about 300 centimeters large and 1 yoctometer deep on the rear end of the ball. The hole is also emitting a rainbow trail made up of mostly a light red, a dark orange, a dark yellow, a very light green colour, a very light blue colour, another shade of blue, a shade of brown, a very odd purple, and yet another purple, with each being at an equal amount and parallel to each other while the colors are congruent in width. The trail is also about 0.983748% gray. Large, bright white spots appear at random intervals along the ball's rough surface. These spots regularly erupt in flames, causing large plumes of light-yellow gas to travel quite far (9537649832.835729611 miles, or 15349359532.5751860000000000000000000000001 kilometers, to be exact) from the ball within 5 seconds. These plumes of gas happen to be toxic, and everything they touch vaporizes into steam within 5782973482783875.5379673 to 3725673824895783289.3738683536356400037638 yoctoseconds. The ball rolls at nearly 25 mph, turns 97 degrees counterclockwise every approximately 24 seconds during the summer, and spins 92.6605 degrees clockwise every 17.2938 minutes during the winter. Every 120.121 seconds, a stream of fire is released from the rounded square hole. The fire is purple, with a pinkish glow and grey tint, and it extends two and a half feet out from the hole. The fire burns at -40 degrees Fahrenheit (or -40 Celsius (which is one of the few instances in which Celsius temperature is equivalent to Fahrenheit) or 233.15 Kelvin.) The ball both sexually and physically identifies itself as a dark blue, 57325964737.252 picometer-wide apache helicopter, which is likely due to its extremely rare cerebral condition, corcoranophilia, a side effect of a disease caused by a very obscure scientific reference. The ball also smells like cream cheese opened for 5 days, 2 hours, 19 minutes, and 7 seconds and emits waves at such approximately rounded of a 25 gHz frequency every two approximatated seconds. In addition, the ball contains a colourless, glowing 14 sided yellow dodecahexahedron with an area of about 10 minisculously invisible metricisions. The dodecahexahedron was part of an ancient jewel originally found 44,729,165 years, 6 months, 14 days, 22 hours, 37 minutes, 59 seconds, 68 milliseconds, 41.2 microseconds, 12.7 nanoseconds, 1.56789264 picoseconds, 32.8635 femtoseconds, 28.2 attoseconds, 7.0003242 zeptoseconds, and 46.7891 yoctoseconds ago in a temple filled with traps such as Seeker Birds, Ricochets, and nuclear-powered SAS 4 turrets. The temple stood on a ball-like structure, similar to the aforemetioned ball, however this one was around ten times its size. The ball-like structure was crystalline, sort of amber in color, and emitted a calm blue glow. If touched even in the slightest, the organism that came into contact with the crystalline ball will experience uncontrollable seizures and hallucinations for exactly 538792467842384.5378285 minutes. Back to the original ball - it was inhabited by its own species; an cyanobacteria with a corkscrew-like structure, and about the size of one too. The ball gets its amber glow from these bacteria, which feed off of all the colours of the spectrum but mysteriously cannot digest 570-590 nanometer wavelength light. The ball has small dimples on it, such as the dimples on a golf ball, to create less drag. There are exactly 70 dimples on the surface of the ball, including one invisible dimple, but the dimples often make the ball 30 times slower. Occasionally, the dimples turn into holes and concentrated hydrogen flouride blasts out of them. The ball is made of an abandoned Master Ball that once held a Shiny Pikachu nicknamed Hairy Golbat that would never evolve but evenutally fused with Porygon-Z, which went insane and absorbed Pokemon in its body. The ball can make someone unconscious if they hold it for more than 13.1956183643 seconds. The ball is named Specifico, whch is the name of the GD 79.8 achievement used to achieve it. The ball is currently orbiting Ceres. at about 2.185673756 miles above the dwarf planet's surface. The ball has survived going through an ever-expanding black hole made by Alpha654 in Random Forum Fight Round 26, though it had some side effects, namely the tendency to absorb anything smaller than a common housefly, but larger than the width of a human hair. This ball has abosrbed 19.1846916459 pounds of material. The ball is currently becoming sentient and will finish on 3:34pm November 5th, and right now it can perform simple math up to but not including 2 digit multiplication. Uranium dating puts the ball at 4.63 billion years old. The ball eats Magikarps through a pentagon-shaped hole opposite the side of the rounded square hole. When it eats a Magikarp, it goes insane and speeds up by an estimation of 9.884356156743675463299546314390564375649253674 times its normal size.