Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26877467-20161017175134/@comment-29646689-20161023164805

A 42,420,133,721 picometer wide, 99.9961506661312-pound red ball made of an alloy of gold and platinum with rapidly flashing blue stripes perpendicular to each other with a white glow coming out of a rounded square hole on the rear end which is emitting a rainbow trail made up of mostly red, orange, yellow, a very light green colour, a very light blue colour, another shade of blue, a very odd purple, and yet another purple, with each being at an equal amount and parallel to each other while the colors are congruent in width, but also being about 0.983748% gray. Large, bright white spots appear at random intervals along the ball's surface. These spots regularly erupt, causing large plumes of light-yellow gas to travel quite far (9537649832.8357296 miles, or 15349359532.575186 kilometers, to be exact) from the ball. These plumes of gas happen to be toxic, and everything they touch vaporizes into steam within 5782973482783875.5379673 to 3725673824895783289.3738683536356400037638 yoctoseconds. The ball rolls at nearly 25 mph and turns 97 degrees counterclockwise every approximately 24 seconds during the summer. Every 120.12 seconds, a stream of fire is released from the rounded square hole. The fire is purple, with a pinkish glow and grey tint, and it extends nearly two feet out from the hole. The fire burns at -40 degrees Fahrenheit (or -40 Celsius (which is one of the few instances in which Celsius temperature is equivalent to Fahrenheit) or 233.15 Kelvin.) The ball both sexually and physically identifies itself as a dark blue, 57325964737.252 picometer-wide apache helicopter, which is likely due to its extremely rare cerebral condition, corcoranophilia, a side effect of a disease caused by a very obscure scientific reference. The ball also smells like cream cheese opened for 5 days, 2 hours, 19 minutes, and 7 seconds and emits waves at such approximately rounded of a 25 gHz frequency every two approximatated seconds. In addition, the ball contains a colourless, glowing 14 sided yellow dodecahexahedron with an area of about 10 minisculously invisible metricisions. The dodecahexahedron was part of an ancient jewel originally found 44,729,165 years, 6 months, 14 days, 22 hours, 37 minutes, 59 seconds, 68 milliseconds, 41.2 microseconds, 12.7 nanoseconds, 1.56789264 picoseconds, 32.8635 femtoseconds, 28.2 attoseconds, 7.0003242 zeptoseconds, and 46.7891 yoctoseconds ago in a temple filled with traps such as Seeker Birds, Ricochets, and SAS 4 turrets. The temple stood on a ball-like structure, similar to the aforemetioned ball, however this one was around ten times its size. The ball-like structure was crystalline, sort of amber in color, and emitted a calm blue glow. If touched even in the slightest, the organism that came into contact with the crystalline ball will experience uncontrollable seizures and hallucinations for exactly 538792467842384.5378285 minutes. This ball itself was inhabited by its own species; an cyanobacteria with a corkscrew-like structure, and about the size of one too. The ball gets its amber glow from these bacteria, which feed off of all the colours of the spectrum but mysteriously cannot digest 570-590 nanometer wavelength light.