Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25764576-20170114143350/@comment-29646689-20170127005406

am gonna try in fanfics.

Note: I don't do direct fanfics. I do responses.

WARNING: the following is extremely biohazardous. do not open unless you want me to rip your head off and put it on a spike.

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Incident 000B

Location: sealed-in room containing Improbability Drive, Science Tower, Project Nexus research facility, Nevada

Time: 9:34PM UTC, [DATA EXPUNGED], 2017

THREAT LEVEL: BLACK

SECURITY BREACH

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On one end of the corridor is the door to the room. on the other, massed ranks of soldiers.

only a few minutes ago, they detected the door broken and sealed.

-

Video footage:

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multiple people inside the room. all are [REDACTED] with each other. none matches database records.

Memory Extraction, AAHW Unit 1105294, ATP Soldier, alias 404 found:

that last incident was horrible. let's hope this is just another glitch.

(walks over to door and listens)

''wait..... do I hear groans and flesh against flesh?''

OhGODno, please no.....

damnit, who cares anyways.

[404 found] Set explosive charges.

[ATP Engineer] Yes Sir. (puts C4 package on door)

(404 found and Engineer moves back to safe distance)

[404 found] Blow it. All units, get ready.

(other ATP soldiers ready to rush in)

[BOOM]

(404 found and 3 other soldiers burst in, guns at the ready.)

[404 found] Identify yourself!

(groans stop. flashlight on rifles illuminate a feet.)

''what the fu?! this better not be another Incident 000A''

[Polska] Hi. wanna join us?

OMFG ITS THE POLAND BALL

[Hollow Earth] (grabs 404 found's feet)

''DAM IT ITS THEM! RUN!''

[404 found] Fall Back! NOW!

(attempts to run, but is caught by Hollow)

(they grab him, drag him to center and [REDACTED]

Memory Extraction, AAHW Unit 1394752, ATP Engineer

(other ATP soldiers escaped. blasted door lifts up by itself and fits over door frame. screams and small arms fire heard behind door.)

what the fu was that

(screams continue. yellow blood seems from under door crack)

HOLY SH**

(door opens)

(404 found crawls out, lower body missing)

[404 found] get out bef-(dies)

(Hollow and the Cookie walks out, and drags his half-body back.)

(sounds of copulation continues for a few seconds, before an explosion stops it all.

After-action Report:

Corpses retrieved:

404 found (mostly disintegrated, only head intact): stored in cryogenic storage cell, Muto-Lab

unidentified male, with a globe for a head: Incinerated

unidentified male, made of cookie dough: Incinerated

unidentified female of reasonable beauty: stored in cryogenic storage cell, Muto-Lab

a Polska Ball: Incinerated

an unidentified machine, possibly a Mini PEKKA: stored in armored storage cell, Solarium

Second Part coming soon. LOL

I tried. LOL