Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25358024-20151130174123/@comment-25358024-20151201161915

I find a large log nearby. I drag it to the vending machine. I then whack it 10 times.

'''-40 damage! +10XP'''

Auto-defender is defeated!

I discover a stool. I stand on the stool. I then drop the log over the vending machine.

'''-5 damage! +1XP'''

I repeat this 10 times.

'-45 damage! +9XP'

'Level up! NerdyMSP is now level 2!'

I see a strong piece of bark sticking out from under the vending machine. I lift it, in order to get the vending machine to topple over. It does, and I use my log to smash the vending machine.

'''-6 dmg for toppling it over! -8 for smashing it! +5 XP!'''

'-94 total damage! (Auto-defender took 20 damage!)'

Vending Machine has 406/500 HP left!

I find MC HAMMER, who then hands me a hammer, and hits NerdyMSP over the head with it.

-6 to NerdyMSP!

I then proceed to pick up his log and continue work...

'''-30 damage! +6 XP'''

...to where I give up and start blasting it with my photon cannon I totally had before this game began. The vending machine, unfortunately, is photon-proof. I begin to bewilder myself.

NO EFFECT

-30 total dmg!

Vending Machine has 376/500 HP left!

I summon 420 cans of Mountain Dew, blessed by the mighty vending machine, and launch them all at NerdyMSP and ZOptic.

'''-14 damage to ZOptic! +4 XP (NerdyMSP drank it and became stronger) '''

The vending machine blesses me with a Kappaclysm, with which I will spam "Kappa" repeatedly in the GD chatroom.

You do this 6942 times, but then you get banned from chat!

'''-7 to everyone excluding you! +3 XP'''

I make myself a lvl 1 fireball cannon and launch 9001 fireballs at NerdyMSP and ZOptic.

'''-17 damage to ZOptic and NerdyMSP! +6 XP '''(Nerdy can't eat RisingFire's fireballs!)

My head starts to bleed. I suck the blood because it tastes nice. It does not much damage to me.

'''+15 to NerdyMSP! +5 XP'''

...I then breathe Dew fire onto you (RisingFire).

'''Unfortunately you forgot that RisingFire is made of fire! He ate it and grew stronger!'''

'''(+7 XP for RisingFire) Level up! RisingFire is now level 2!'''

I find a log exactly the same as the one I had before. I smash RisingFire with it until he is battered and near-dead.

'''-8 to RisingFire! +3 XP'''

I then take everything out of the vending machine and eat the snacks.

ER'''ROR: There are no snacks in the vending machine! There are DRINKS!'''

ERROR: You can't touch the vending machine coz RisingFire blocks the way!

I push the vending machine over and treat it like a jumping castle, by jumping on it.

RisingFire was faster and he jumped on you instead!

'''-18 to you! +7 XP to RisingFire!'''

I deflate, so now Rising can't jump on me anymore. I poke a million holes into myself, so he can't inflate me

'''It works! +10 XP!'''

Scope the vending machine for 20 bullets right to the can drop zone.

'''Rising Fire blocks the way! He consumes 18 bullets. The other 2 deal him only -6! +3 XP'''

I use Quickscope (ablity) to RisingFire2654!

'''-7 damage to RisingFire! +4 XP'''

I receive the blessing of the Almighty Vending Machine, increasing my HP to 60 and fully healing myself!

'''ERROR: The vending machine refuses to give you a blessing! You have to protect it for 1 more turn!'''

I use fireballs to 42000 blazeitscope all the attackers!

'''All the attackers except XSlayer receive -9 dmg! +8 XP for RisingFire'''

Neutral bot N-1337 attacks XSlayer for -2 dmg!

Random Dasher attacks RisingFire for -2 dmg!

           VENDING MACHINE     (Round 1) [376/500 HP]

AT:      NerdyMSP                   [14/55 HP] (Level 2, 28/30 XP) 

            ZOptic                          [3/50 HP] (Level 1, 6/20 XP)

            XSlayer300                 [48/50 HP] (Level 1, 7/20 XP)

            Random Dasher           [4/20 HP] (auto)

NE:      Neutral bot N-1337       [13/20 HP] (auto)

DEF:    RisingFire2654            [32/55 HP] (Level 2, 15/30 XP)



Inventory:

NerdyMSP:   Log B lvl 1, Stool lvl 1, Toothpick lvl 1

ZOptic:   Log A lvl 2, Hammer lvl 1, MCHAMMER

RisingFire2654:    Fireball Cannon lvl 2, 420 Mountain Dew cans

2 turns until healing!



Dead players:    Auto-defender  [0/20]   (Pay 20 HP to revive it!)

Dead bosses:        None