Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26877467-20161017175134/@comment-26238535-20161021005725

A 42,420,133,721 picometer wide, 99.9961506661312-pound red ball made of an alloy of gold and platinum with rapidly flashing blue stripes perpendicular to each other with a white glow coming out of a rounded square hole on the rear end which is emitting a rainbow trail made up of mostly red, orange, yellow, a very light green colour, a very light blue colour, another shade of blue, a very odd purple, and yet another purple, with each being at an equal amount and parallel to each other while the colors are congruent in width, but also being about 0.983748% gray. The ball rolls at nearly 25 mph and turns 97 degrees counterclockwise every approximately 24 seconds during the summer. Every 120.12 seconds, a stream of fire is released from the rounded square hole. The fire is purple, with a pinkish glow and grey tint, and it extends nearly two feet out from the hole. The fire burns at -40 degrees Fahrenheit. The ball identifies itself as an apache helicopter, which is likely due to its extremely rare cerebral condition, corcoranophilia, a side effect of a disease caused by a very obscure scientific reference. The ball also smells like cream cheese opened for 5 days, 2 hours, 19 minutes, and 7 seconds and emits waves at such approximately rounded of a 25 gHz frequency every two approximatated seconds. In addition, the ball contains a colourless, glowing 14 sided yellow dodecahexahedron with an area of about 10 minisculously invisible metricisions. The dodecahexahedron was part of an ancient jewel originally found 44,729,165 years, 6 months, 14 days, 22 hours, 37 minutes, 59 seconds, and 68 milliseconds ago.